A little bit of Top 30

Jon B f/ Babyface - Someone to Love

I remember the  summer I fell in love with this song. It was 2001 and the most stress-free summer that I've had to date. Spent the summer in Navarre Beach Florida and the entire west coast. My wonderful cousin had this song as her aim profile and I was hooked. As we look back we think of the bits and pieces that we leave in the past or carry with us into the future. This song will forever be by my side.

Free Weezy

So often we find artists getting caught up in the mainstream hoopla of what sells to white America and what doesn't. One person worth mentioning in this conversation is Lil Wayne. It took so many albums for him to win his first grammy for 'Lollipop' pretty much. If you're the self-proclaimed 'best rapper alive', it's good to have your recognition to have Grammy's to define your career but it's almost a slap in the face. The puns and lyrical content for 'Lollipop' ranks probably a 2 on a 10 point scale. Though Wayne makes his music to please the mainstream charts, he still releases music (most of the time free music) to his followers and fellow Wayne-heads. 

Here are my to 3 lyrically enriched songs that he's ever produced. Enjoy!

Lil Wayne - I'm Me

Lil Wayne - Best Rapper Alive

Lil Wayne - Sky's The Limit

Pain.

In a strange strange place, I'm lying on the edge of a star
In these violent days, I only wanna be where you are
Even fools they say... can find a way out of the dark
Help me out of the dark

Desperately wanting

Too often do I hear that I should get rest. Or that sleep is good for the soul. I sometimes find myself staying busy but then losing focus on why it's become an addiction to stay active. Today I tried to do what everyone else says. I stayed in bed and watched old school TV shows which is generally my idea of a relaxing day. Instead my mind wandered to boredom and all I wanted to do was sleep. I thought of measures I once took to sleep only out of curiosity. But then I remembered everything else that came with it. The missed calls. The amber alert. The tears. The bitching. The scars. The pain.. all for sleep. Sleep is something that comes natural to everyone around me. Why can't I have it? Why is it that I need to completely wear myself out to be able to squeeze in a few hours of shut eye?

Linkin Park - Leave Out All The Rest

Twice the pain

Posting blogs out of sequence is something I never do but with the night and morning that I had, I believe it's worth talking about. At the beginning of each month, I fill out my calendar with things that I have coming up with birthday celebrations, concerts, sporting events etc. Each month I always hope that two of those days are filled to keep me busy.. the 21st and 27th. The significance of these days are purely based on the passing of both of my grandparents on my father's side. It's not like I intentionally set these days aside to mourn, who would right? I'm pretty good with dates so that's probably why I'm able to remember and when I do, I always try to go by and visit their grave just to pay some respect. No one else visits them on a regular basis because both of my parents are busy so I put it on myself to do so. It sucks that I remember these days sometimes because I always get buồn [to me I find this word to be more of a mixture of things than just 'sad'] thinking about the broken bond that I had with them. On these days or the days leading up to it, I think about my dad and how lonely he must feel. My mom is on the phone all the time with her other siblings and mother while my dad has no one to call and talk to really. He has his sister but then I know he doesn't want to seem like a burden to her calling all the time. As for me, I remember too much. It feels  like yesterday when my grandmother passed and the ridiculous tough time I went through for an entire year to find spiritual healing and forgiveness. I think about the day at work when I found out about my grandfathers stroke and how heartbreaking it was to see him being transferred to my job site (OLOL) and how my fellow contractors were there for my father and me that sad day in October. Tomorrow marks 10 months since he's been gone and as sad as I got this morning, I don't know how I'll be when his one year anniversary hits. Is it bad that I don't like to spend it alone so I can have a distraction from having to think? The good things, the bad, and everything in between. Being trapped at work all day is bad enough but to be trapped at home is just a nightmare. I just like to be occupied this time of the month. It's really mind over body though. It's good to have a bit of spiritual cleansing from time to time. Whether I attend a church service, listen to his favorite gospel songs, or even shed a few tears to ease the pain, having something like this from time to time makes the painful memories go away and leave a good kind of hurt. The kind of hurt that allows me to miss but not cry. Instead I try to smile knowing he's reunited with his wife in Heaven. For almost two years, he walked alone after her passing and now I can see them walking hand in hand. You can't help but smile picturing it. So why can't I?

Michael W. Smith - Shout to the Lord

Music can be magic

There's music, and then there's MUSIC. Songs that go beyond just playing in the background. They stand out above the others whether it be a simple lyric or a well played melody. A great song doesn't attempt to be anything, it just is. When you think of a great song or one of your favorite songs, you can think of where you were when you first heard it or when you first fell in love with it. It takes those very emotions from that moment and holds it in your thoughts for many years to come. It transcends time. A great song is composed of many things in the recording industry like how well it was produced but to me it's half emotion and half melody/ lyrics. There are songs that tell stories, things that we're able to relate to and ask something like "damn, was John Mayer writing this song for me?" and then there are songs with just great melodies. One type isn't greater than the other, however the ones that tend to stick with us forever are the ones that have the two elements married within one song. Music with mass appeal will always find its way to our iPod and music players due to the accessibility of it. We as fans generate a liking for the song and artist and gather together at capacity crowd numbers and sing along every lyric as if the artist came to hear us sing. The best songs aren't always the biggest ones. It's always more special to find that very song that's a diamond in the rough. It makes the song as if it were your own. These types of songs help you feel the emotion in the music. If the artist sings a song about being in love but doesn't sell the feeling, then we can tell. When a phrase gets stuck in your head like a melody and is part of your every day life, then it's something great. When it signifies an era in your life then its done its job.

Here and now

California Dreams - Whenever I Think Of You

As every month ends, I generally blog about my goal of seizing the moment but I also like to notice all of the things, both mentally and physically, around me. My month is generally designed with keeping busy which isn't always a bad thing. From the outside looking in, that's all that I'm about... work and play. Working hard allows me to play hard and I enjoy the lifestyle that I've gotten used to. There's no doubt about that. My perspective however is viewed a bit differently. Although I tend to get caught up in the fun, it's not always about what concert I have line up or what which city I'm partying in on a given weekend. I find it healthy to pause and just look around at everything. Looking behind will show me the path it took to get to this point. There are mountains that I had to climb to be able to stand where I'm at now. I used to wish that I had done something different to save my past but I realized that changing it would affect where I am today. I'm sure you're saying to yourself, "Well no duh Captain obvious!" but we all know that we can be told something a thousand times but it takes experiencing it ourselves to understand. So in this very moment, I count my blessings alone for having the strength to be here today. Truthfully, the past is the past. It's dead and gone. Letting go of it was one of the best things I've been able to do. Gotta kick the crap out right? It's finally here where I'm up after being down. This past month has been too good to be true. I'm at the point where I'm not out searching for everyday happiness, I have it. It came when it was least expected and literally happened over night. Each month keeps getting better and I know for sure that I have so much to look forward to as the year goes on. This is me living the here and the now and appreciating the people I have around me especially my special someone by my side. I tip my hat off to Vayla for opening many doors. I would have never thought that a drive home from New Orleans would change so much about me. No need to question it because accepting it has been a blessing in disguise. Thinking about how things played out always brings a smile to my face. Just when I feel like I've done enough smiling, I think about these next few weeks will unfold and I'm cheesing ear to ear all over again. If I had two good feet, I'd do my happy dance (reference to Smart Guy).

Off to work I go

Random songs that I listen to on my way to work in the morning.

Jann Arden - I Would Die For You

great singer, amazing in concert... AND she's Canadian

Imogen Heap - Say Goodnight and Go

Nsync - Gone

man i miss these guys

Right Above It

Lil Wayne f/ Drake - Right Above It

"Now tell me how you love it, you know you're at the top when only heavens right above it."

Like a battlefield

Blogging has become quite popular in some of my circle of friends. The more I get to know a person, I find that they too are a fellow blogger. One thing that I've found in common is that we all tend to write the best when we're down. The writing is more pure and sincere. It's all about love. We're either in love, dreaming about love, recovering from it, wishing for it, or reflecting on it. There's no doubt that most of us first began our blog because something wasn't going right in our life at the moment. Why blog if everything is going great right? When our hearts are broken, the emotions build inside of us so much that it starts to spew out into thoughts and the thoughts are transcribed into words for all of the world to see.When you're sad, all of the alone time gives you time to reflect and focus on all the 'he said/ she said' mixed in with a few 'where did it go wrong' type questions. Look at the names of my blog, The Top Gets Higher and Heartbreak Warfare... BaoNgoc's is Perfectly Broken... and the list goes on. We're all in the same position at one time or another and hopefully we use the experiences of our peers to prevent us from falling into the same pattern.

Be yourself because there's no one like you

Often we want to be somewhere other than where we are, or even to be someone other than who we are. We tend to compare ourselves constantly with others and wonder why we are not as rich, as intelligent, as simple, as generous, or as saintly as they are. Such comparisons make us feel guilty, ashamed, or jealous. It is very important to realize that our vocation is hidden in where we are and who we are. We are unique human beings, each with a call to realize in life what nobody else can, and to realize it in the concrete context of the here and now. We will never find our vocations by trying to figure out whether we are better or worse than others. We are good enough to do what we are called to do. Be an individual. Be yourself.  Words to live by.

OneRepublic - Say (All I Need)

Time of your life

The time has come where seven Saturdays are chosen to supersede any other event. That's right, it's time for some college football. LSU and Florida will kick off their run at knocking out Alabama from repeating as a national champion even though I don't see it happening because both of my teams suck now. I'm excited to tailgate my Saturdays away with my friends over at S.H.A.R.T. Tailgating  and carry over the fun into a rowdy Tiger Stadium. Just when the fun dies down after the last second ticks away in Death Valley, it's time time to change from purple and gold to black and gold and join along with the rest of the Who Dat Nation for a football environment where every Sunday feels like a Super Sunday.

Midway through football season, two more seasons will begin for me. First, we'll start with the Lakers run for a Repeat 3 Peat with Kobe and friends stopping in New Orleans twice along the way (Dec. 29 and Feb 5). I've only missed 2 Lakers games since the Hornets came back from Katrina and I don't plan to miss these two. With my concert schedule open, I'm trying to score some court side seats or something close like last year just to feel like I'm part of the game. It's Lakers basketball... my second religion... the REAL purple and gold.  Next we have my Pandas coming back for probably our last season under my ruling. I've brought this team from a sub-par level team to being two-time champions. We've endured defeat as if we never had a chance to win. We've faced heartbreaking losses and injuries. Lastly, we've had and continue to deal with haters who degrade us by our race and our integrity, most importantly mine. My sponsors and I have given a great group of guys the opportunity to play and relive the glory days of when we played ball for rival schools and churches. I'm pleased to announce that we will officially be named Kung Fusion Pandas. The name derives from the movie Kung Fu Panda and our merger with some members of Team Fusion. After building the team that I have in store for this upcoming season, we will settle for nothing less than the playoffs.

So with my Saturdays and Sundays lined up for fun, let's try to fill in the rest of the week shall we? Fridays are automatic. I'll spend them in Nola mainly for Julie's volleyball games and once in awhile, I'm hoping to get a special visit in BR. Work will consume most of my time M-Th with the practices twice a week once I'm able to play again. When Panda season begins, two random days will be set aside for games. Partying will surprisingly be kept to a minimum because everyone will be focused on school and so I'm trying to organize one or two small 4 day vacations in October which will give me something new outside of the Maroon 5/ One Republic concert, Mid-Autumn Moon Festival, and Date Auction.

If you haven't caught on to my drift yet, this is probably my favorite time of the year. Time spent with family and friends is always time well spent. It's my reward for surviving a summer with no sports (with the exception of Vayla) and long office hours. My summer has been quite an adventure with lessons learned and a changing of ways. No clouds are in my vision and I've been undoubtedly happy. It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right, I hope you've had the time of your life.

Express yourself!

Time to tone down the serious talk for an entry or two and let my readers know how my t-shirt obsession came to be. One summer in Destin, I came across woman's shirt with lyrics from a Beach Boys song that I wanted so badly that I considered buying it. I searched the maker of the shirt (Lyric Culture) and fell in love with the idea of t-shirts expressing my personality. So when you see me, it's always music, something inspirational or retro.

 The shirt that started it all...

 

 

Shirts that I have/ want

So me. Don't you think?

Inspired by "Knocking on Heaven's Door"

Can anybody out there hear me?

Justin Timberlake - Losing My Way (Live)

Reflection of self

Before I even start this entry. Let me apologize for thinking that I'd be able to put these thoughts into words. The feelings and emotions that have been on the dome for the past however long need to finally come out. It's not that I'd fed up or anything. It's just that I find myself feeling more in tune with it when the subjects come up with others and there's no strength to keep in in anymore.

Lately, I've blogged about music, having fun, and keeping busy. If all of those things take up 95% of my time, then it's really all I have to talk about. Look back to the beginning of the year when I was doing nothing. All I did was just lay in bed being sick and tired of being sick and tired. The entries that I posted back then weren't exactly my pride and joy because of the state of mind that I was in, but I put every little bit that I had left in me to try to bring to all of you what I was feeling. So now that I'm out and about and staying true to my words by wanting to be there for all of my friends, it only leaves a low percentage of down time for myself. Some weeks will have more than others but nonetheless, it's not that much to begin with. In this short amount of time that I have to myself, I'm free to think of whatever. Most of the time I like to reflect on how I'm able to be where I am today. It's been a crazy adventure and the great thing is that it's only just begun.

With Myron's birthday just passing, it's easy to think about how things were a year ago and where I am today. This means I can avoid all of the good and the bad that happened over the past year. I can close my eyes and recall all of us in the group picture at Rise in Hard Rock and see how we've changed as people in just a year. Mai has Liam. Hong is still doing her thing. Lynn graduated and is a working woman. Daniel is still awesome and living the good life. Thao's back in school and is with someone she swore for months that she wasn't going to get back with. Then there's me, I'm good too. I'm happy or content with life at least. I've had my shares of ups and downs but I'm better off now than where I was last year. I'm in a different chapter of my life and perhaps a completely different book, but one thing I know is that I'm not stuck somewhere I know I shouldn't belong. It's sad sometimes to reflect and see the past year as only a memory because it'd be nice to be able to to continue to be living a certain lifestyle. When I end up missing those days, I remind myself that it is those same memories that help me enjoy the great things I have today. It doesn't take a genius to know that today > yesterday .

With all of this discussion of what brought me here to present day, I like to think about who I've met along the way and see who has managed to stick around for more than just a a short time. Whether it was someone I came across at a club or spent lots of time with, I'm better off having known all of them. From the Pam's, Lynn's, and Julieann's to the Daniel's, Sumit's, and Thinh's. I miss all of you.

Self-Actualization

When someone hurts us, offends us, ignores us, or even rejects us, a deep inner emotion emerges. It can result in anger or depression and gives us a desire to take revenge or even give us the impulse to harm ourselves. We can feel a deep urge to wound those who have wounded us or fall into a mood of self-rejection. And by wound, I mean more from an emotional and mental aspect. Although these extreme reactions might seem exceptional, they are never far away from our hearts. During long nights we often find ourselves reflecting about words and actions we might have used in response to what others have said or done to us.  It is precisely here that we have to dig deep into our souls and find the center within us, the center that lies beyond our need to hurt others and ourselves, where we are free to forgive and love. Our self-actualization.