January was nothing short of surprising. From the first minute of 2011 to the last hour I spent of this month, my world has been up, down, and metaphorically to hell and back. There’s been joy and disappointment but it doesn’t stop there. I got my first ticket, my iPhone was stolen in a matter of minutes, and I did not attend a single event that I bought tickets for. Instead of letting go and moving on, I spent the month dwelling on things that directly affected me to things that were bigger than the Beatles. My blogs went down and my tweets went up. Daily tweets would normally begin with complaints about traffic and turn for the worse as the day grew old. Thankfully, I snapped out of the bitterness that I’ve held on to because everything I worked hard for up to this point was on the verge of slipping through my fingers. I let go of past encounters but found it hard to move on when the past still felt very present. So much drama went on around me that it was hard to take a breath of fresh air.
With February here and no clouds in my vision, I’m proud that I can speak from my heart for the first time in a while. I would like to apologize to anyone who might be offended by reading this but remember that this is my story from the way I see it and this is the way I want to tell it, even if I’m wrong.
Martin Luther King Day is a national holiday honoring a man who lived his life to the very end fighting for something he believed in. He taught us to judge someone not by the color of their skin but the content of their character. If he were still living today, his ‘dream’ would be satisfied but not fulfilled. As I talk to friends, attend both temple and church, and observe the community that I belong to, I see that society is far from being the way I hope it to one day be. The days of black and white may be done and this is only because we’ve added a few other colors to the spectrum. It’s not just race these days, there’s also politics and religion, two things I never ever talked about until today. Today will be the first and only time that I give my perspective on what it’s like to be me.
I am Vietnamese and Buddhist. A better way to define myself is that I am a minority within my own race. My parents are from the south and southerners (nam) are Buddhists. In my circle of friends and their circle of friends, everyone is predominately bach and Catholic. You would think that being Vietnamese alone is enough but there’s more instilled in our community that there’s a guideline on how Vietnamese do you have to be to actually be taken seriously. Since the 3rd grade, I’ve been told that I was going to go to hell. Why? Because I don’t believe in God in the Catholic perspective. Buddhists are respected at temple but as we step into church it’s a different story. My Buddhist beliefs are inferior and almost imaginary to believers of Christ. It’s me against the truth. I’m not saying that Catholics are wrong. I’m just saying that to them, everything that doesn’t involve God and Christ is wrong. I thought this country was founded on freedom of religion. We as Vietnamese should know that very well because our parents found America as a place to find freedom. I wish it were only that easy. I’ve been to church services in my day and from what I’ve gathered, God will forgive you for anything. From the smallest of sins to something as bad as murder, believing in God will put you on track to Heaven. You sins are washed away and all is forgiven. The only thing that denies a person to getting a ticket to Heaven is not being a believer. That’s fair. But I see the afterlife as a place that we can all reside in. But according to the Bible, a non-believer such as myself will go to hell. Where’s the fairness in sending a Christ believing sinner to Heaven as oppose to sending a drug/alcohol free-hard-workin- charitable- philanthropic –Buddhist like myself to hell? This is something I’ve accepted a long time ago. I can accept the fact that my beliefs are different than most but they are my beliefs and we are entitled to practice whatever we want.
My next issue is a Buddhist marrying a Catholic. For something that’s so easy to me, it’s so damn hard for others to let pass by. For example, Buddhist girl wants to marry a Catholic guy? She has to convert. Buddhist guy marry a Catholic girl? He has to convert. Why is it that Catholicism > Buddhism to where we have to give up our beliefs and disrespect our own higher being for the sake of yours. Why can’t the person convert to Buddhism? Because it’s not real? Better yet, why can’t everyone just practice their own values. Religion shouldn’t be so political because at the end of the day, we believe what’s in our hearts. Nobody can take that from us whether we are Buddhist, Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, Hindu or whatever. A marriage is based on the simple idea that two people love each other and can be there to love and obey till they’re old and gray. Why isn’t that enough? Parents, if you had to choose, would you rather your child marry a Vietnamese Buddhist or a person of a different race but was Catholic? These are your only two choices and I’m not holding a gun to your head waiting for you to decide.
Sorry for going on like that but you have to understand the frustrations of not being part of the chosen crowd. If you’re not Catholic everything else can only get you so far. Good looks, family background, wealth, education, personality, and even love will never be enough. Only one thing matters and it’s the cross that hangs from your necklace.
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