It's been awhile and as much as I feel like quitting I know that I can't. The thought of giving up runs through my mind more often than it should. It's like I can't compete. It's like Jordan in 93. 808 and heartbreak. Staring down from the top but then itching to come back for one last stand like Favre in 09 and seeing if I still got it. Though I'm tired of the game because it's not what it was when I first started. Times aren't the same but I like the chase and hoping this last time will be different. Even though I'm in the lead, it's like I'm the underdog. I'm the home team and the fans are cheering for my opponent. It's THAT feeling. A sense of 'I don't belong' mixed in with a bit of 'who are you kidding'? Maybe I should accept my Cinderella team role and embrace getting this far. But when you can see the end in the beginning, why even try? Why should I race to the finish line when I can just take my time? Why rush? Maybe delaying the finish allows me to soak up the moment. Stare into the bright lights and know that for this moment in time. I'm the man. The one they came to see. The prize is worth more in the end but will I ever get there? Let me live up to my potential and give all that I have. Win, lose. Go hard or go home. A win is a win. There's no point in winning if you can't win big. Which ever philosophy I decide to choose, I'll give it my all. No regrets and no looking back.
I apologize for the randomness.
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